This past January 24th, the Chicago Media, his hometown of Crystal Lake, IL, and most importantly his family and friends lost a one of a kind in longtime news anchor Randy Salerno. While I had only met Randy one time, and frankly did not watch him very much on the television, his death has impacted me more than I would have thought it would. There were some similarities between Randy and myself. We are close in age, started at Illinois Wesleyan University and ended up graduating from Illinois State University, have children that are close in age, and even have one child with the same name.
What struck me the most, though, is how much life is a gift that we all eventually will have to give back. We never know how long we get to keep that gift, and when it is time to give it back. The amount of people that it affects directly or indirectly is amazing.
I've been a bit melancholy this past week. At the same time, I have a much deeper appreciation for my wife, my children, my friends, and all the relationships that I have. I truly feel gifted more now than in the past for every day that I wake up and am alive. I also realize that I have to work even harder and make that one extra family event, one extra hug from my kids, one extra kiss from my wife, one extra toast with my friends the highest priority in my life.
From what I heard about Randy Salerno, he did this from the beginning. I've done it some, but from his inspiration, I will do more.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
America First
When I was in high school, I remember doing a project for my Sociology class. It consisted of a poster board that was divided into four squares. On the left side top there were starving people in Africa. On the right side top there were many of the American perfomers from the Live Aid concert. On the left side down there were the homeless people in America. On the right side down the square was left blank. The top center of this poster contained the phrase "Which Side Are They On?"
Reflecting back, I find that much of what I believed then I continue to believe today. With that said, I believe that there are performers in America that have supported the American Homeless. I should have perhaps included 10 performers on the Africa side, and 1 on the American side. However, I also believe that there has been and continues to be more focus on what is going on outside our country and helping (and sometimes meddling with) other countries when we have plenty of issues and problems in our own country that could use more of our help. My perception is that we need to be just a tad more selfish.
The bashing of America by both people from foreign countries and people from within our own country is utterly appaling to me. The very same people that graciously accept our aid and money in their time of need are the same that accuse America of being the personification of the Anti-Christ. We also have many in our own country that do the same thing about their own country. Is our country perfect? Heck no! Can we improve in many areas! Heck yes! However, why is it that we can't take the approach of "America is great, and we can get better....here's how:" instead of "America is terrible, and I'm embarrassed to be here until we do the following:" Both statements call for change, but one does it in a positive manner while the other does it with negative overtones. What ever happened to being proud of what we accomplished, recognizing that we can and will improve?
Reflecting back, I find that much of what I believed then I continue to believe today. With that said, I believe that there are performers in America that have supported the American Homeless. I should have perhaps included 10 performers on the Africa side, and 1 on the American side. However, I also believe that there has been and continues to be more focus on what is going on outside our country and helping (and sometimes meddling with) other countries when we have plenty of issues and problems in our own country that could use more of our help. My perception is that we need to be just a tad more selfish.
The bashing of America by both people from foreign countries and people from within our own country is utterly appaling to me. The very same people that graciously accept our aid and money in their time of need are the same that accuse America of being the personification of the Anti-Christ. We also have many in our own country that do the same thing about their own country. Is our country perfect? Heck no! Can we improve in many areas! Heck yes! However, why is it that we can't take the approach of "America is great, and we can get better....here's how:" instead of "America is terrible, and I'm embarrassed to be here until we do the following:" Both statements call for change, but one does it in a positive manner while the other does it with negative overtones. What ever happened to being proud of what we accomplished, recognizing that we can and will improve?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Questions That I Would Like Answers To
1. Why is a bad television show or movie the best thing ever when you know you have to go to work?
2. Why are you less tired when you wake up and realize that you don't have work or school?
3. Why are there more red lights and traffic when you are running late?
4. Why does your pager, door bell, cell phone, and home phone ring within 1 minute of one another but then stay silent for an hour or more?
2. Why are you less tired when you wake up and realize that you don't have work or school?
3. Why are there more red lights and traffic when you are running late?
4. Why does your pager, door bell, cell phone, and home phone ring within 1 minute of one another but then stay silent for an hour or more?
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Hollywood "Values"
It seems like every other day there is some star that winds up dead, drugged out, divorced after a couple of weeks, etc. I just don't understand it. Besides the entertainment value that most of those in Hollywood provide, how can any of us take them seriously outside of the big screen? I know that there are exceptions to the rule of conduct that I just outlined. Can someone explain to me why the rules just don't apply to those in Hollywood? Why do we as parents allow our children to let so many of these people be role models?
Monday, January 21, 2008
Relationships
I've had a revelation, although I don't think that it is one that is all that mind blowing. In fact, it may very well be a maturation process that took me this many years to figure out. There will be people in your life that are meant to be there for specified periods of time (and some will be all of time.) The great question to answer, and never ending battle, is knowing which relationships are meant for each time frame.
Perhaps the best way to answer that question is based on the evolution of that relationship. For example, relationships that result because of the neighborhood one moves into seem to remain as such as long as people remain in that neighborhood. When one leaves that neighborhood, as much as you would like to believe that the relationship will remain strong, distance diminishes it. Thus, the strongest relationships that are neighborhood based are destined to be challenging at best when one leaves it. I would hypothesize that if the move out of the neighborhood was one mile or one thousand, they are likely to diminish equally for no other reason.
Relationships that begin early in ones life, no matter what they are (child to parent, friend to friend, sibling to sibling) have to mutually evolve or they are destined to failure. For example, if a parent treats one of their children like they are a perpetual adolescent, the child may not appreciate being treated in that manner in their adult years. Both sides need to evolve, or the relationship will be miserable all the time, or it will simply cease. If one or both sides choose not to let the relationship evolve, I would say that the relationship has reached the end of its useful life.
My belief is that relationships continue over time as long as both parties respect each other and recognize when it is time to change the approach to it. However, instead of letting the relationship go with animosity or grief, it seems to me that the sage approach is to look at the relationship for what is gave to you at that particular moment in time and glean the positives from it. If there were negatives, use those negatives as a learning experience for what you can do in the future to be better at your current or next relationship.
Perhaps the best way to answer that question is based on the evolution of that relationship. For example, relationships that result because of the neighborhood one moves into seem to remain as such as long as people remain in that neighborhood. When one leaves that neighborhood, as much as you would like to believe that the relationship will remain strong, distance diminishes it. Thus, the strongest relationships that are neighborhood based are destined to be challenging at best when one leaves it. I would hypothesize that if the move out of the neighborhood was one mile or one thousand, they are likely to diminish equally for no other reason.
Relationships that begin early in ones life, no matter what they are (child to parent, friend to friend, sibling to sibling) have to mutually evolve or they are destined to failure. For example, if a parent treats one of their children like they are a perpetual adolescent, the child may not appreciate being treated in that manner in their adult years. Both sides need to evolve, or the relationship will be miserable all the time, or it will simply cease. If one or both sides choose not to let the relationship evolve, I would say that the relationship has reached the end of its useful life.
My belief is that relationships continue over time as long as both parties respect each other and recognize when it is time to change the approach to it. However, instead of letting the relationship go with animosity or grief, it seems to me that the sage approach is to look at the relationship for what is gave to you at that particular moment in time and glean the positives from it. If there were negatives, use those negatives as a learning experience for what you can do in the future to be better at your current or next relationship.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
The Great Balancing Act
I've been watching ads for a story that NBC 5 Chicago is going to show on their newscast. It is from a real life medium that talks about how her experiences with the dead indicate that their common communication to her is that they wished that they spent more time with their family. One example is a father playing catch with their son more instead of working.
I'll admit that the balance between work and family has been one that I've struggled with, especially since I opened my own company. There is that "freedom" from not working for the "man," but also the reality that income is only derived from what you are doing to generate it. I think that there is a time in the evolution of ones business where you don't have to work as long as when you first started to generate income, since a substantial part of the time is finding that first client. Nevertheless, even if it is not work that keeps you away from your kids or family, your own personal interests or spending needless time surfing the internet can take away from good quality family time.
One of the solutions that I've found to this dilemma is just simple time management. Setting hard start and stop times for work and individual interests and spending the balance of the time with my family has worked well when I stick to it. In addition, family time with me does not always mean that I'm going to be with my entire family at all times. My wife and I make it a point to have the equivalent of a "date" at least once a week. We've found this to be a contributing factor to our continued love for one another after 16 years. We starting dating in high school, and each of us have evolved into different people. However, we evolved into the people that we are together. My love for her is stronger now than it ever has been. One on one time with our children has also contributed to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with them.
The net of my thoughts here is that I believe it is God/Family/Work all the way, and in that order. Time management and properly performing all the different roles we have in life is the most simple to do in theory, but most difficult to achieve in practice.
I'll admit that the balance between work and family has been one that I've struggled with, especially since I opened my own company. There is that "freedom" from not working for the "man," but also the reality that income is only derived from what you are doing to generate it. I think that there is a time in the evolution of ones business where you don't have to work as long as when you first started to generate income, since a substantial part of the time is finding that first client. Nevertheless, even if it is not work that keeps you away from your kids or family, your own personal interests or spending needless time surfing the internet can take away from good quality family time.
One of the solutions that I've found to this dilemma is just simple time management. Setting hard start and stop times for work and individual interests and spending the balance of the time with my family has worked well when I stick to it. In addition, family time with me does not always mean that I'm going to be with my entire family at all times. My wife and I make it a point to have the equivalent of a "date" at least once a week. We've found this to be a contributing factor to our continued love for one another after 16 years. We starting dating in high school, and each of us have evolved into different people. However, we evolved into the people that we are together. My love for her is stronger now than it ever has been. One on one time with our children has also contributed to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with them.
The net of my thoughts here is that I believe it is God/Family/Work all the way, and in that order. Time management and properly performing all the different roles we have in life is the most simple to do in theory, but most difficult to achieve in practice.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Kids, Toys, and Electronics
I'd like to think that the rule that I've established for my kids is a fairly straightforward one and easy to follow. The rhetorical answer to that question is best answered from Jack Nicholson's character in "A Few Good Men." "Don't I feel like the fu**ing a***ole." I have this warped sense of reality that just because my rule appears to be sensible, it will be followed, and items acquired will live in perpetuity. My family has adopted many electronics and gadgets that I somewhat force feed on them initially, but they wind up loving them as much as I do. We have Xbox 360, Ipod, portable DVD players, and more games than time to play them. The problem is that although they are somewhat industrial strength in some respects, scratching a disc or not having the charger or connection cables renders these things useless. It is not like I scimp on the cases or "add ons" that often are part of the purchase. My kids come up with some of the most unique excuses for not putting things away after they mysteriously become "lost." It is never their fault. The conversation usually goes "Dad, I can't find this xxx, and the last time I saw it was when you were doing something to it for me." Needless to say, it is 99.9% of the time a bunch of bunk because I'll find it under the chair they were in the very time they were explaining that it was something that I did that caused its disappearance. Ultimately if the adults don't find them, most of the time they remain in the abyss. I've tried to institute all sorts of ideas or punishments to prevent future loss or destruction. Nothing seems to work.
Hold onto that thought. My phone is ringing and I'm expecting a very important call. The cordless phone charging base is right next to me. Never mind, I can't answer it because the phone isn't there. What a shocker.....
Is there a magical solution to this dilemma, or am I just looking for an electronics utopia that will never materialize?
Hold onto that thought. My phone is ringing and I'm expecting a very important call. The cordless phone charging base is right next to me. Never mind, I can't answer it because the phone isn't there. What a shocker.....
Is there a magical solution to this dilemma, or am I just looking for an electronics utopia that will never materialize?
Friday, January 18, 2008
Team Spirit
I don't understand why there is so much hatred between Cubs and White Sox fans. As a native of the Chicago area, I am primarily a White Sox fan. What that means is that no matter who the White Sox play, I want them to win. The same is true of the Cubs, unless they are playing the White Sox. I have a real hard time understanding why one would root for anyone other than their home team. There are many fans that are Sox fans that want the Cubs to lose to everyone, and vice-versa. I wholeheartedly disagree. I think that fans from a particular town should root for their home town team.
On another note, and boy I expect to get some grief by saying this as a Chicago Bears fan. I am a rabid Bears fan...I want them to win all the time. However, my second favorite team is the Packers! To me, it is almost the same thing as my Cubs/Sox argument. I want the Packers to win every time unless it is against the Bears, or it puts the Bears in a worse position to have home field throughout the playoffs. What makes me laugh is that many people that are Bears fans, that hope the Packers lose at all costs, are the same that go north of the boarder into Wisconsin to vacation in Lake Geneva, The Dells, or other parts of Wisconsin. I also find it somewhat laughable for some that live in common vacation areas of Wisconsin that loathe people from Illinois by calling them things like "FIBS" (F***king Illinois B***ards). I can't imagine what would happen to the Wisconsin economy if the FIBS stayed home.
On another note, and boy I expect to get some grief by saying this as a Chicago Bears fan. I am a rabid Bears fan...I want them to win all the time. However, my second favorite team is the Packers! To me, it is almost the same thing as my Cubs/Sox argument. I want the Packers to win every time unless it is against the Bears, or it puts the Bears in a worse position to have home field throughout the playoffs. What makes me laugh is that many people that are Bears fans, that hope the Packers lose at all costs, are the same that go north of the boarder into Wisconsin to vacation in Lake Geneva, The Dells, or other parts of Wisconsin. I also find it somewhat laughable for some that live in common vacation areas of Wisconsin that loathe people from Illinois by calling them things like "FIBS" (F***king Illinois B***ards). I can't imagine what would happen to the Wisconsin economy if the FIBS stayed home.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The Housing Crisis
I'd like to think that I have a somewhat unique perspective on the housing bubble. I've sold foreclosures properties for banks for many years. There is no doubt that things are not all that great right now. However, part of the problem that we have is the media. Gloom and doom is all that we see. It is at the forefront of just about every publication and tv station that one turns on. Frankly, it scares people. Some qualified buyers that really want to buy a home sit on the sidelines because of the news. Many bottom feeders come out and take the concept of buy low to new and dangerous levels. I really believe that these factors have compounded the problem and made them worse than they need to be. There are really great deals out there. Smart buyers and investors will buy now. Let's all remember that shelter is a universal.
Turning 40, Passage of Time, and Health
I've heard that turning 40 was a big deal. I didn't really believe it. Every other birthday that I had was relatively uneventful. There were no notable changes in how I felt. This birthday for me was notably different. Literally from the day that I turned 40, parts of my body that never ached before do now. It's not life altering, but it's one of those "why is this hurting, I didn't do anything to strain that part of my body the day before." This really sucks! The other thing that I noticed is the passage of time. I spoke to a colleague of mine that just had this eventful birthday as well. We lamented about how when we were in high school in class, time seemed to stand still. The best way I can describe the passage of time today is akin to a 2x speed on a DVD player. Sunday night comes, and I wonder where Friday night went. Even during the work week, Monday comes and then it is Thursday night. There is one universal that has been the case, though, for me since work life began: late Sunday night to Monday after work are without a doubt the worst 18-24 hours of the week.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Six Year Old Diet and Behavior
We have a six year old boy that unfortunately inherited some of our poor adult diet choices. He often enjoyed an over abundance of sugar and carbs. Recently, my wife has tried him on a gluten free diet. The results thus far have been remarkable. His temperment has been much more balanced and is markedly more well behaved and listens better. So far, so good!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Things That Drive Me Nuts
Going to bed, getting comfortable, but then getting stabbed in the back by a crumb.
Monday, January 14, 2008
First Post
I've never been told that I have a hard time expressing myself. What a great place to do it. Great and thoughtful banter is always welcomed here. I hope that we will all have a chance to start some lively debate!
Over the past few weeks, I've tried to spend some time listening to both sides debate for the Democratic and Republican nominations. There is so much repetition and spin, it is really quite humorous. So much focus and time is spent trying to trip up one another and take things out of context, it is amazing that people take this stuff seriously. The inability to directly answer a question makes me tend to agree with Laura Ingraham's belief that the race is for the next "American Idol" President. Creating a sense of balance and determining what is best for our country needs to be the focus. I've been largely unimpressed with the balance of all the candidates, and I'm not convinced that any of our choices will create anything but an altered bureaucracy that trade one set of problems for another. In some respects, replacing all with no political party affiliation may be the only way to get anything done. Unfortunately, that will never happen.
I do have one question that I can't possibly understand why is never answered and is in all of our best interests. Why are candidates for one public office allowed to remain in their current office while campaigning for that new position. How about this for campaign finance reform: you must resign your current office if you run for another. I fail to see how one can concentrate on your current job when you are trying to get another. I can't think of too many employers that would be open to an employee going on an 18 month+ interview for a position that isn't currently helping its constituency. Taxpayer financed job interviewing. It's appalling.
Here are some thoughts on Barack Obama. So many times I have heard that Barack, unlike the balance of the candidates, is the best hope for creating non-partisan politics...that somehow Barack is our hope to bridge the great divide between Democrats and Republicans. I'm having a real hard time buying that. As an Illinois resident, a brief history lesson on Barack may be appropriate. Mr. Obama is the freshman senator from Illinois that has spent nearly as much time campaigning for his new role as he did working on the federal level for our state. His dear friend and fellow Illinois Senator Dick Durbin (about as left of center as they come) was a main catalyst for him to run. He comes from a state that has been so left of center and democratically controlled, that many of his experiences and counsel have come from a very liberally biased side. With that said, I'm not suggesting that Mr. Obama cannot grow into the role that can bring the parties together. I'm just saying that I'd like to see some thoughtful and juicy long term examples of it before I'm going to buy into that rhetoric.
Over the past few weeks, I've tried to spend some time listening to both sides debate for the Democratic and Republican nominations. There is so much repetition and spin, it is really quite humorous. So much focus and time is spent trying to trip up one another and take things out of context, it is amazing that people take this stuff seriously. The inability to directly answer a question makes me tend to agree with Laura Ingraham's belief that the race is for the next "American Idol" President. Creating a sense of balance and determining what is best for our country needs to be the focus. I've been largely unimpressed with the balance of all the candidates, and I'm not convinced that any of our choices will create anything but an altered bureaucracy that trade one set of problems for another. In some respects, replacing all with no political party affiliation may be the only way to get anything done. Unfortunately, that will never happen.
I do have one question that I can't possibly understand why is never answered and is in all of our best interests. Why are candidates for one public office allowed to remain in their current office while campaigning for that new position. How about this for campaign finance reform: you must resign your current office if you run for another. I fail to see how one can concentrate on your current job when you are trying to get another. I can't think of too many employers that would be open to an employee going on an 18 month+ interview for a position that isn't currently helping its constituency. Taxpayer financed job interviewing. It's appalling.
Here are some thoughts on Barack Obama. So many times I have heard that Barack, unlike the balance of the candidates, is the best hope for creating non-partisan politics...that somehow Barack is our hope to bridge the great divide between Democrats and Republicans. I'm having a real hard time buying that. As an Illinois resident, a brief history lesson on Barack may be appropriate. Mr. Obama is the freshman senator from Illinois that has spent nearly as much time campaigning for his new role as he did working on the federal level for our state. His dear friend and fellow Illinois Senator Dick Durbin (about as left of center as they come) was a main catalyst for him to run. He comes from a state that has been so left of center and democratically controlled, that many of his experiences and counsel have come from a very liberally biased side. With that said, I'm not suggesting that Mr. Obama cannot grow into the role that can bring the parties together. I'm just saying that I'd like to see some thoughtful and juicy long term examples of it before I'm going to buy into that rhetoric.
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